Guest blog on Out of the Storm: Parenting and the Legacy of Childhood Trauma

Janet is overwhelmed with a wave of revulsion and nausea every time she breastfeeds her child. Mateo feels guilty every time he changes his son’s diaper, as if he is doing something wrong. Han is filled with paralyzing anxiety every time her boys play-fight. What do these parents have in common? They are all parenting with ACEs.

Many research studies have now established how ACEs, or Adverse Childhood Experiences, negatively impact mental and physical health over a lifetime. The CDC-Kaiser Permanente ACE Study and subsequent surveys that show that most people in the U.S. have at least one ACE, and that people with four ACEs— including living with an alcoholic parent, racism, bullying, witnessing violence outside the home, physical abuse, and losing a parent to divorce — have a huge risk of adult onset of chronic health problems such as heart disease, cancer, diabetes, suicide, and alcoholism. An ACE score of six or more can shorten your lifespan by up to 20 years.

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The question that is not being asked is, what happens when these survivors of childhood trauma grow up and have children of their own? Many survivors of childhood trauma are living with un-diagnosed PTSD that becomes un-manageable when they have kids of their own. These parents are blindsided by the sudden onset of flashbacks and triggers related to parenting. In the absence of information about this common occurrence, they are left feeling broken and alone….


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If You Give a Mom A Mop

I remember before having children I had this blissful idea that being a stay-at-home mom I would be able to keep my home (and kids) neat and tidy at all times. Oh lord, I look back now and I laugh at myself. Life with children is chaos theory in action. And at times my Type A personality has a total break down when I look at the disaster that is my house. I try to tell myself that one day they will be grown up and I will miss the toys strewn all over the floor, but that doesn't help at all. One day seems very, very far away right now.

Sometimes I struggle with depression, and the chaos gets to me even more. I feel like if I could just get a handle on the mess, then maybe my brain would be more ordered too. And then my inability to keep the house tidy drives me even more nuts, and I start judging myself in one of those horrible shame spirals.

So the last time I started attempting to clean the house and found myself enacting a twisted version of "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie", I figured instead of crying about it I would try laughing about it instead.

So for all the moms like me who wonder why they bother with the futile exercise known as house cleaning, this one's for you.

My parody of "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" is available for digital download from my shop for 99 cents.

Because as one mom put it, cleaning your house while you have kids is like eating Oreos while brushing your teeth.

Readers have called "If You Give a Mom a Mop":

"Hilarious!"

"The Best 99 cents I ever spent!"

So if you are a tired mommy in need of a laugh, download your copy today by clicking on the image below: